yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize