The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize