moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
