in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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