gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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