That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
