Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
should my penis look like a turkey
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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