You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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