HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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