im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
