I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Never joke about your clitoris.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
