you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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