But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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