We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
