I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
