i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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