I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
