Yo dont text me then not text me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
