i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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