yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize