I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize