Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
