Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
