Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
