Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
