Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
