Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
