the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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