we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
