I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP