Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.

Fav 28 2056 894
share tweet
(949): View more from California

The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning

Fav 35 943 5271
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower

Fav 11 4429 1085
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.

Fav 34 1561 5469
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?

Fav 12 5777 1129
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.

Fav 22 4902 1087
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger

Fav 22 1671 5372
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.

Fav 0 843 621
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.

Fav 5 479 312
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT