Ketchup is God's man juice
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?