if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...