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• (248): View more from Michigan

  She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.

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• (619): View more from California

  I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.

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• (925): View more from California

  you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list

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• (619): View more from California

  The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.

  (1-619): View more from California

  Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (661): View more from California

  Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.

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