Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?