I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
