I look better un-naked...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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