I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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