Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
