I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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