i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just high enough for therapy.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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