Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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