I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize