I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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