I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize