i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
