My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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