I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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