I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
