Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
