His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
