So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
