Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
