It's a beautiful day for a hangover
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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