It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
