Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
