were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
