You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize