yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
