I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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