i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
