i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
