Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
