i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Semen is not good for contacts.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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