You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
