i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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